I've been here, in the midst of my 'visionary adventure', for four days and I'm beginning to look at things from a slightly different angle. I'm still looking forward to seeing wild animals. I do feel selfish for the things I take for granted, and I am in awe of the conditions in which completely 'unresourced' schools exist. I'm skeptical, however, as to whether or not I will allow myself to actually SEE anything. It's hard to get a good look at something with a 1000 rand camera obstructing your view.

I don't want to be a tourist in South Africa. I want to be a part of South
Africa. 'Seeing' the world is no longer enough. I don't want to simply document this trip. I want this trip and these people to become a part of me. I want to take away meaningful conversations and friendships, not 25 rolls of film.

The more I see the more I want to experience. I want to pursue these
experiences to learn more about others and more about myself. I want to help
someone, somewhere, somehow. I want my education here to be the first step
in eliciting change, whether that change be in my own thought processes, or
for a solitary citizen of South Africa. I want to make a difference.

During the next six weeks, I expect to be nervous. I am scared I will not live up to the expectations others have of me, or those I have set for myself. I'm afraid I'll be rude, I'm afraid I'll be shy, I'm afraid I'll spend all my time thinking about being rude, shy, and afraid and won't let myself enjoy this experience, be hurt by this experience, or learn from this experience. I want to take full advantage of the wonderful opportunities this program has given me.

My eyes are open. My fingers are crossed. I hope I don't screw up."