"Journal Entry
May 22, 2005
1:50 p.m., Utrecht, Netherlands

I've been feeling strangely insecure and self-aware since I've arrived here. I thought that maybe it's because I'm surrounded by people who are so analytical of my every thought; so blindingly intelligent. That maybe it was my fear of not being on the same level as everyone else. I realize now that it is because I have been removed from everything that I use to define myself when I'm in my life at home. My job…my college…my classes… I always use them to describe myself to people. “I am a graphic designer at The State News, attending Michigan State University , taking classes in Islam, philosophy, advertising...” How daunting it is to suddenly realize that your entire identity is wrapped up in what you do, not who you are. Here, I'm removed from all of that. My feverish insecurity stems from my sudden isolation from all of this; all that I use to label my identity. And what I'm left with are my beliefs, my thoughts, my insecurities, my personality traits. I have realized so much about myself that I never took the time to see before."